The Emotional "Talk"

A couple of years ago, I tried to talk to Peyton about being adopted. He did not take it well at all! He cried and cried because he was not in my tummy. So, I decided to wait until he was better able to understand.

The other day, he was asking me if he had hair when he was in my tummy. Not quite sure how to answer him at that particular moment, I told him that God brought him to me. He said, "So, I was your dream come true?"
I answered, "Yes, you are!"

After that conversation I decided it was time to start the adoption dialogue with him. I wanted to make sure I was sensitive to his feelings and spoke in a way he would understand. I did not want him to feel confused or as though he was not really part of our family.

This morning I brought out his book "Why I Chose You" that my mom bought him when he was born. I want him to know he is wanted and loved. We sat on his bed and told him I wanted to tell him something. He sat close by me and stared in my eyes.....with a knot in my stomach, I said, "Peyton, remember the other day when you asked me if you had hair when you were in my tummy?"
"Yes." he replied
"Well, you did not grow in my tummy. You grew in my heart."
No response from Peyton.
"You remember Mama Ashe?" I asked
"Yes" he replied again.
"You grew in Mama Ashes' tummy. She grew you for mommy. And then Mommy adopted you." I said
Peyton chimed in, "You know what adoption is mommy? It is when you bring me home so you can love me."
I said, "You are exactly right. Do you have any questions?"
"Nope, I want to go play."  And off he went.

This is the beginning of our dialog. I am sure he will start asking questions in his own time. I am very happy that Mama Ashe and I are as open as we are. That way when Peyton wants to ask her questions, he can. And he will feel comfortable, because he knows her.