Adoption has blessed me TWO Times in TWO very different ways....

Hi there....
My name is Kacy. I am a Birth Mother and an Adoptive Mother. You see, in 1988, I gave birth to a precious little boy, Christopher. I was saddened that I was unable to raise my baby. I was a teen mom. I decided that Chris deserved to have a family that I could not provide for him. I wanted him to have everything. Making that selfless decision was the most painful decision I have ever made. 
When Chris was 16, we were reunited and have built an amazing relationship. God truly blessed me by bringing Chris back into my life. 
In 2006, after years of suffering with secondary infertility, God blessed me with another amazing little boy, Peyton. Peyton was brought to me through a very open adoption. The day he was born my heart was complete. 
I know, you think, another blog about adoption or open adoption...ugh!! As you will see, my story is quite different from the typical adoption blogger. I see things from two sides of the adoption triad. And I get alot of input from my son, Chris, who sees things from the third side of the triad. 


Being a birth mom is/was a very difficult emotional time in my life. I feel that when we were reunited I was "healed" from the pain of placing my son. His adoptive parents are not only amazing....but incredibly supportive of Chris and I building a relationship. Without them, we would not have been able to start our journey as early as 16. our adoption was Closed. But through adoption search angels, I was lucky enough to locate them and know my son was happy and healthy. That is where our story begins!


When I was asked if I was interested in adoption in 2006, my first reaction was OF COURSE......I AM GONNA BE A MOM! Then I started to think about the woman who would be going through the painful decision and constant heartache from the placement of her child into my arms. It is terrible to know what that pain feels like and to know I am on the other end. (I still tear up when I think about it now 5 years later.) My desire to be a mother and a loving parent guided me through that pain. In December 2006, when Peyton was born I was elated and scared at the same time. There I was on the opposite side of adoption.....I felt as though I was stealing her son. I felt like I was causing her this awful heartache. Looking at his mother in her hospital bed was so overwhelming. I could feel her being torn apart the same way I was 18 years earlier.  
As happy as I was to be chosen to mother this beautiful angel, I was also terrified that she would change her mind. I was now the Adoptive Mom. All of the fears associated with being an adoptive mother came barreling through me. 
Please don't change your mind.......


Then the birth mom in me would remind myself that it is HER decision. I had no control. (not an easy place for me to be...I am sort of a control freak!) I left it in God's hands. 

We had a couple of traumatic moments on the way through Peyton's finalization....not on the part of his incredibly strong Birth Mother. As you can tell by reading this, his adoption was finalized and we are all still together in a VERY OPEN ADOPTION! We call Peyton's birth mom, Mama Ashe. 


That is is just the beginning of my story through adoption. I decided to start this blog because today I had my  first real conversation with Peyton about being adopted. The first time I tried, he cried and cried. So, I decided I should wait until he had more understanding for discussion. And it is time....Peyton is 5 years old. 


Adoption to me is a blessing! My oldest son was raised by two loving parents who were able to raise a child without all of the emotional drama and  immature nature of a teenager. I may not have grown my youngest son "in my tummy" but I sure grew him in my heart.


 I am blessed with the love of both of my sons. They both call me MOM!